Episode #72 - Reclaiming Myself: A Story of Life After Manipulation, Abuse, and Betrayal

This episode is a deeply personal truth-telling about my relationship with my body, my visibility, and my sense of safety in the world. I share how repeated experiences of abuse, assault, and violation taught my nervous system that being seen was dangerous. Attention, even when it wasn’t overtly harmful, began to feel unsafe. Over time, I learned to disappear as a survival strategy: dimming my light, shrinking my presence, dressing to avoid notice, and confusing invisibility with protection. I speak honestly about the pattern of harm, the grief and rage that come with it, and the exhaustion of living in constant self-monitoring. Not to relive it, but to name it. Because self-blame, silence, and hiding were not personal failures; they were adaptations that once kept me alive. This episode also marks a turning point. I share how witchcraft became a refuge, a private, sacred space where my body belonged to me again. Through ritual, secrecy, and self-chosen practices, I reclaimed agency, autonomy, and authorship over my own life. I explore the complicated truth of loving who I am internally while struggling to love my physical form. This is a story of moving from survival to choice. From shrinking to intentional visibility. From fear to self-expression. I’m not claiming the world is perfectly safe, I’m claiming space for myself within it. And that choice, for me, is power. If you’ve ever learned to play small to stay safe, this episode is for you. You are not broken. Your survival strategies made sense for the time. And you are allowed to reclaim yourself — slowly, gently, in ways that feel right. This is not a lesson, it’s an invitation to take back something small: your voice, your joy, your light.